An Unspoken Truth

Once in lifetime, we have encounter at least one unexpected bittering moment. So do I. This is one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my life that I never wished to happen. I used to be a person who is very easy to trust people. I used to be the person who always try to give the best as possible as I can. I used to be the person who don't know much about a man. I used to be a person who don't know how to handle a relationship. I used to be a person who is not interested in others' people's affairs even in a relationship. All those things led me encounter a worst nightmare in my life. In February 2021, I met a person (will refer the person later) in Yangon who told he was studying Public Policy at Chiang Mai University. It has been three months I was coming back from Chiang Mai at that time. So, one of my collages introduced him to me at that time. I was not so interested about him at that time.

                                        photo - google

 One month later, in March, he came to visit to Sittwe where I was working. Before that, he chatted me onmessanger and used to send me the photos of his village in Kyauk Phyu. On the day he visited Sittwe, he asked me to meet him. There was also one of my respected seniors who also called me to meet with him and with the person too. On that day, around ten people most students studying in Yangon met in Sittwe Indian port and the person talked about himself a lot that he was studying in international school when he was young, he graduated his Bachelor and Master from Chiang Mai University and also he was currently studying at the University of Yale at that time. I believed that at first and was not interested to do fact checking because that was not my business. Two days later, he phoned me and confessed me that he was interested to be in a relationship with me. Later that day, he called me every day and talked to me one phone for about an hour. During that time, I still believed him and he was also involving and leading some education initiatives in Rakhine which made me hard to think he was fake. Another reason I still trust him was that people around me who I used to know since I was in university also trusted him at that time and I was not interested to question his personal background which was not my type. When he was telling he loved me and wanted me to be his girlfriend, I told him to date but he did not seem to understand about the idea of dating. We have been talking on phone for three months almost every day and after three months in May, I told him I loved him. He was still in Sittwe at that time and after a few days of my confession, he went to Yangon. Our relationship became LDRS and we just talked on the phone but not every day. I came to realize that he was not the person who can understand me very well and he cannot sometimes catch up what I said. That's why, after three months of relationship, I decided to break up with him. I told him on phone that we were not okay to continue the relationship and I blocked him on all of our communication channels. However, he tried to use other possible ways to contact to me. He asked his friends to follow me sometimes and to unblock his Facebook and phone number also asked me to give reasons about break up through his friends. He also borrowed 30k money (I don't remember exactly) before break up and gave the money back through his friend. At the end of 2021 in December, he came to visit Sittwe again and tried to contact me. He sent messages he was in Sittwe and wanted to meet me. Even though I blocked him I could still read the messages. I was on trip at that day and I unblocked him and told him I couldn't meet him. The next day, I agreed to meet him. He persuaded me to come back to him and then I agreed and I told him it was just a date and I would try to get to know each other more. From that day, he was in Sittwe almost the whole period of dating with him. Gradually I came to know his awful manners. The first case was during the Valentine Day. He said that he dated me again because he wanted to do revenge since I left him at first. The words he used were kind of mentally abusing to me. He also told me he cannot give any presents on that day because he is not interested and believed in those days. I still accepted it and just wanted to try to be good on him. Later that day, he tried to convince me in every possible way he can to have sex with him also every day and everytime we met. I denied every time but finally, I could not bear his words anymore and tried to agree with him. However, that was kind of the case that I could not resist his words anymore because he used the words like he would leave me if he could not have sex with him or he might not be interested in me if I could not have sex with him. Then, he persuaded me every possible way to get married with him. Sometimes, he asked me to go the court and sign for marriage and sometimes he asked me to live together with him in Sittwe. During the time we were dating, we were also travelling with other friends, mainly with my friends, to Buthidaung, Ngapali and so on. For every trip we have travelled, he borrowed money from me and the reason he gave me was his credit card was opened in Thailand and it can't be usable in Myanmar and he did not have Myanmar bank account. He also borrowed money from me for his personal use. Before I came to Thailand, it was 3 million MMK that I needed to get back from him and he gave me back only 1.2 million MMK. I still needed to get 1.8 million MMK to get back from him. Moreover, when we were in relationship, there were times I lost my trust in him but I was not interested to do background check. Some of the reasons that I lost trust were that he told me he was studying public policy but I came to realize he did not have knowledge about even basic concepts of public policy. He used to teach Human Rights in one class and I was just shocked how he was explaining the concepts of human rights to the student. He also told different things about his study as a PhD student which was his utmost lie. During the period we were, I also tried many times to break up with him but I could not do that because he was at the nearest place with me and it was hard to cut the connection with him. After two weeks in Yangon, I told him to break up and disconnected from him. The second time relationship lasted three months and ended of lots of trauma.